Why is it that some people don't value the act of kindness....It seems some see it as a weakness yet they have no problem taking advantage of kindness if it benefits them, of course. I am 33 years old and I have yet to make sense of why I've tolerated being treated unkind even though I am a generous, helpful, caring and dependable person. Meaning, if HE needed something...anything I was able to do to help, I did it. I never demanded anything in return other than equal respect which I assumed was just a given. Boy was I mistaken. I tend to give people more credit than they're worthy of...I'm naive when I think people share the same general values of doing on to others as they do on to you. Nope!! Not the case. After five years of this on and off again half-ass relationship I still have yet to receive a gift for my birthday. Birthdays. I don't feel as if I'm demanding or rude. I feel as if HE just doesn't find it necessary AT ALL to give me a gift for my birthday. His words were " just cause I got my insurance check for $5,000 doesn't mean I can be throwing money around." My response: Um,...is my face froze???? lol I think my face is froze! A look of awe and shock was the frozen expression at that time. Hell, at least I still have a sense of humor. I do not understand how people can treat someone so shitty and be so mean to them and they don't seem to feel bad or guilty at all!! Is something missing..like part of their brain?? Were they not raised right?? Did their parents or parent not teach them the codes of behavior such as manners, compassion, empathy and respect is a two-way street?? And how do they manage to go through life without getting their ass kicked. I'm grateful that I have joy in my heart because I know that God is pleased with those of us who choose to love others and do His will, as we understand it. Five years and I'm still fighting the same fight just on a different day different month. But it's the same fight...I'm finally feeling inner strength, a strong sense of self-worth I guess is the way I describe it.. I feel I can let go of this and know that I'll not miss it. It being Him...why would I miss being treated unfairly?? I just want the person I'm in love with to be in love with me. I want to feel and know in my heart they care about me, my feelings, my opinions. But instead, at this moment I don't feel He is in love with me....how much can a person cry I wonder? I wish our eyes would reach a "maximum tears" which would then signal our brains to stop producing!! I know it's silly but when a heart is broken, some people will do anything to mend it.
